Lifestyles Center Blog


It may seem unimaginable from the outside- why would anyone stay in an abusive relationship? The truth is, shame, guilt, fear, and even love can make it extremely hard to leave. It may be physical, sexual, or emotional- whatever the case, it is NOT okay. Here are some ways to help a friend when they need it the most:

If you suspect a friend’s partner is abusive:

  1. Don’t focus on how “bad” their partner is. Getting angry with the person he/she loves will only make your friend angry with you.
  2. Approach your friend with care and concern.
  3. Your friend may have a hard time admitting that the abuse is real. Try to listen as best as you can. Don’t force your friend to do anything he/she is not ready to do.
  4. Ask questions, rather than lecturing.
  5. If your friend is ready to leave, offer the appropriate resources. Below are resources on- and off-campus.
  6. If you know your friend is in serious danger, call the police. It may not be what your friend wants you to do, but it could save his/her life.



  1. SAF (Services to Aid Families) Abuse and Assault Hotline 342-1600

*Calls accepted 24 hours

  1. Counseling Services Center (behind Mary Walker) 312-4416


  1. University Police 312-5555


  1. Lisa Evaneski (SUNY Oswego’s Title IX Coordinator) 312-5604


Elana Ginsburg, Lifestyles Center Intern

Nicole Montera, Peer Educator