Lifestyles Center Blog

SURVIVOR SERIES: SURVIVING DATING VIOLENCE

Nearly half (43%) of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors, according to loveisrespect.org. However, it isn’t just women that are victims. Men can be affected just as easily by an abusive, unhealthy relationship. Often times, people involved in an abusive relationship will not seek help, either because their situation is a dangerous one and they feel they cannot, or they lack the resources that can get, or find them the help they need. Below you will find vital information regarding dating violence including types of abuse, warning signs, how to get help, and some useful resources. 

 

Types of abuse:

  1. Physical Abuse- physical abuse can be categorized as any of the following:
  • Any scratching, hitting, biting, or kicking
  • Pushing
  • Throwing objects
  • Grabbing clothes
  • Pulling hair
  • Using any sort of weapon to harm or threaten (gun, knife, mace)
  • Forcing you to engage in any type of sexual act
  1. B) Emotional/Verbal Abuse- emotional abuse may not leave a physical mark, but can include things such as threats, insults, or over-monitoring. Examples of emotional/verbal abuse are:
  • Name-calling
  • Intentional public humiliation
  • Excessive or unnecessary yelling and screaming
  • Isolation from friends and family
  • Using technology to control, or intimidate
  • Instruction on what to do/wear
  • Damaging any personal property
  1. C) Stalking– people do not normally think of stalking when thinking of dating violence, however, it can be as traumatizing and as difficult to handle as physical, and emotional relationship abuse. Someone might be stalking you if they:
  • Send you unwanted text messages, letters, emails and voicemails
  • Purchase and give you unwanted gifts
  • Show up at your home or place of work unannounced or uninvited
  • Constantly monitor you (usually using social networking sites and other technology)
  • Wait around at places you hang out
  • Use other people as resources to investigate your life

 

How to get help for yourself, or a friend:

There is a National Domestic Violence hotline that can be reached at 1.800.799.7233. There are trained advocates that victims of domestic violence can speak with 24/7, and the phone calls are free of charge and completely anonymous. If you or a friend is in an emergency situation, you can always dial 911, or University Police at 315-312-5555.

External resources:

Organizations like loveisrespect, Date Safe Project, Offence on Violence Against Women, and Futures Without Violence exist so that dating and domestic violence can be dealt with, and prevented, and so that victims can find the help and support they need. Below are the links to the websites of these organizations. Explore them to find personal testimonies from victims, and more information regarding information violence such as healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, and what to avoid in a romantic partner.

Loveisrespect:

http://www.loveisrespect.org/

The National Domestic Hotline

http://www.thehotline.org/

Offence on Violence Against Women

https://www.justice.gov/ovw

Date Safe Project

https://www.datesafeproject.org/

Futures Without Violence

https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/
Written and researched by Peer Educator, Colleen MacBride

Photo Cred:here